One day Little Johnny came home from school and asked his mom what they were having for dinner.She said that it was a surprise and him and his brother would have to guess what it is after they try it.Well dinner time came and they started eating it,but they couldn’t figure out what it was.So Little Johnny asked his mom for a hint.She said,”Okay,I’ll give you a hint.I call your father this.”Little Johnny said to his brother,”Quick Bobby, spit it out,its asshole!”
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One day the teacher wanted the class to use the word definately in a sentence. Suzy raised her hand so she called on her.
She said, “The sky is definately blue!”
“I’m sorry Suzy thats wrong the sky sometimes turns different colors red ,gray etc.. any body else?”
Timmy raised his hand and said, “The grass is definately green.”
“I’m sorry Timmy that’s not true either, sometimes the grass dies and it may turn brown, anybody else?”
Little Johnny raises his hand and says, “Teacher do farts have lumps?”
The teacher says, “no why?”
Johnny says, “Then I definately Shit my pants!”
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Little Johnny is in a class where every Friday the teacher asks a question, and if you get it right you don’t have to go to school on Monday.
The fist friday the question was how many gallons of water are there in the whole world. No one knew so they all had to go to school on Monday.
Next Friday the question was how many grains of sand are there in the whole world. No one knew so they had to sgo to school on Monday.
By this time Little Johnny is getting mad because he doesn’t want to go to school on Monday, so he paints two ping-pong balls black and the next Friday right before the teacher asked the question he rolled the two black ping-pong balls up to her and she said, “Who is the comedian with two black balls?”
Little Johnny said,” Bill Cosby. See you on Tuesday.”
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Little Johnny greeted his mother at the door after she had been out of
town all week and said, “Mommy, guess what? Yesterday, I was playing
in the closet in your bedroom and Daddy came into the room with the
lady from next door and they got undressed and they got into bed and
then Daddy got on top of her and -”
The mother held up her hand and said, “Not another word! Wait until
your father gets home and then I want you to tell him exactly what
you’ve just told me.”
The father comes home and the wife tells him that she’s leaving
him.
“But why?” croaks the husband.
“Go ahead, Johnny, tell Daddy just what you told me.”
“Well,” said little Johnny, “I was playing in your closet and Daddy
came upstairs with the lady next door and they got undressed and they
got into bed and Daddy got on top of her and they did just what you
did, Mommy, with Uncle Bob.
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Little Johnny once asked his teacher “Do hearts have legs?.”
The teacher answered “Why do you ask that?”
Johnny replied “Yesterday, I heard my dad say sweetheart open your legs.”
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