Little Johnnie Joke
Little Johnny and Little Lisa are only 10 years old, but they know that they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Johnny goes to Lisa’s father to ask for his blessing.
Johnny bravely walks up to him and says “Mr. Jones, me and Lisa are in love and I want to ask you for your blessing.”
Thinking that this was the cutest thing, Mr. Jones replies, “Well Johnny, you’re only 10. Where will you two live?”
Without even taking a moment to think about it, Johnny replies “In Lisa’s room. It’s bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely.”
Still thinking this is just cute, Mr. Jones says, “Okay then how will you live? You’re not old enough to get a job. How will you afford food and rent?”
Again, Johnny instantly replies, “With our allowance. Lisa gets 5 bucks a week and I get 10 bucks a week. That’s about 60 bucks a month, and that should do us just fine.”
By this time Mr. Jones is realizing that Johnny has put much thought into this. So, he thinks for a moment trying to come up with something that Johnny won’t have an answer to.
He then says, “Well Johnny, it seems like you’ve got everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you should kids of your own?”
Johnny shrugs his shoulders and says “We’ve been lucky so far…”
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One day the teacher wanted the class to use the word definately in a sentence. Suzy raised her hand so she called on her.
She said, “The sky is definately blue!”
“I’m sorry Suzy thats wrong the sky sometimes turns different colors red ,gray etc.. any body else?”
Timmy raised his hand and said, “The grass is definately green.”
“I’m sorry Timmy that’s not true either, sometimes the grass dies and it may turn brown, anybody else?”
Little Johnny raises his hand and says, “Teacher do farts have lumps?”
The teacher says, “no why?”
Johnny says, “Then I definately Shit my pants!”
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Grandpa and Little Johnny are sitting on a bench in the park. Johnny asked, “Grandpa are you going to take that new Viagra?”
Grandpa looks at him and says “No Johnny, I will not.”
“But Grandpa, why?” asks little Johnny.
Grandpa replies. “Because there is no sense in putting lead in your pencil if you have no one worth writing to.”
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Little Johnny’s teacher asks, “What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?”
Little Johnny replies, “A teacher.”
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An old country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5-year-old child, Little Johnny.
The doctor instructed Little Johnny to hold a lantern high so he could see while he helped the woman deliver the baby.
Little Johnny did so, the mother pushed and after a little while, the doctor lifted the newborn baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath.
No sooner had he done this than another baby pops out, than another, and yet another. A puzzled Little Johnny quickly blows out the lamp.
The doctor yells, “What did you do that for?”
“The light’s attracting them!” replied Little Johnny.
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